Introvert

I am an introvert. I value my time alone. I do not enjoy attending drunk college parties or hanging out with large groups of my peers. I tend to be quiet and keep to myself in large classes and Saturday nights are spent watching old movies and eating popcorn on the couch. While my roommates feel the need to be around people all the time, chasing tequila with cheap beer and dancing at the club, I feel content slipping past the crowd and retreating to my bedroom. Inside my cave I write, read, or simply be, alone by myself.

The other day I attempted to write a definition poem about my personality type in order to convey and explain my introvertness to the rest of the world, or more realistically,my writing group. However, I got stuck and I got stuck fast. Now, part of the problem is that I was forcing myself to write a poem on a specific topic. For all of you non-artist types this may be difficult to understand. Art, no matter if it is visual, written, or performed cannot be forced. You simply cannot sit down at the table, declare you are going to write a sonnet about the gay community in Los Angles and have it turn out just right. It doesn't work like that. Art isn't linear. Rather, the art needs to approach you. Once this occurs, it is your job to listen to these instincts and go from there.

While I was forcing myself to write, the bigger issue correlated with the definition itself. According to dictionary.com, an introvert is best described as a person who is concerned primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings. When I read this, I immediately disagreed with the statement. According to this definition, I am a cold, heartless, self-centered bitch. I mean, really? Concerned with my own thoughts and feelings? Looking back on my life experiences I feel as though I put others before myself a large percentage of the time, but maybe this is my personal bias. A second popular definition for an introvert is a shy person. Again, I disagree. Introverts can be social people. Yes, there are always exceptions, but for the most part I like to think that introverts are socialable. I thouroughly enjoy hanging out with friends, meeting new people, and getting to know these individuals on a personal level. However, I like engaging in these activities in an intimate setting. Put me in a room with ten or more people and you lose me. It becomes too overwhelming. There is too much going on, so I withdraw.


But that is the main difference between extroverts and introverts. Extroverts recharge their batteries by being social and by being in the limelight. They feed off others' energy in order to increase their own. Introverts are the opposite. They need to seclude themselves in order to recharge. They don't run off because they are stuck up, snobbish, or believe others to be inferior, they simply need an opportunity to do their own thing. In doing so, they are often more pleasant to be around. So friends, if I do not show up at the party or if I decline an invitation in order to stay home and write, please do not take offense. I simply need a few hours alone in order to be a friendly, happy person.